Right in front of me
by doris.bastianelli
Summary: What happens when two of the most unexpected people fall for each other while dealing with their own problems in the process. It's re-uploaded story with few new chapters. Sylveride fanfiction
1. Just one encounter

The whole firehouse was kind of quiet, which was quite unusual at this time of the day. Everyone was doing their own thing since there was no call for the last few hours. And by »doing their own thing« it is meant that either they were sleeping or playing poker outside.

Brett was just sitting there all by herself with crossword puzzle in front of her. Not really solving it or thinking about anything. At least not anything productive.

She didn't like one of those »calm« days when there was no call for so long or nothing to do around the firehouse. She would be satisfied with just cleaning the ambulance. But yes, already done. She wasn't a »woman of action« or anything. She just didn't want to waste whole day just sitting there.

But on the other hand, if she was at home by now, she would probably be watching one of those sad movies where you just need to cry and make your life even more miserable than it already is.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't realize she wasn't alone anymore until she heard one of the dishes fall.

»Oh, crap« Severide picked up the dish and looked at Sylvie. »Hey there. I'm so sorry if i scared you.«

She smiled. »It's ok, Lieutenant. Really. I wasn't focused so it was kind of an easy job scaring me with just a simple movement.«

He lifted eyebrows. »Oh..If you say so. Well, I came here to make a sandwich since Cruz's dinner was infamously burned.«

She smiles and looks down at the unsolved crossword puzzle. He turns his back and starts chopping pickles for his sandwich.

»Ouch! You have to be kidding me!« Brett looks up again and sees Severide with one hand bleeding and the other one holding a giant knife that was most certainly not meant for chopping pickles.

»Are you ok, Lieutenant? You are bleeding. Let me see.« She stands up and walks to the kitchen.

»I don't think it's really that bad, but that is a hell lot of blood.« says Severide and watches her opening first aid kit.

»You'll be fine.« She laughs. »It's just a little cut. I've seen worst, trust me. Besides, you are firefighter, you should be brave. «

Severide looks at her. This is the first time they are actually talking about something that is not strictly professional. Not that they didn't like or avoid each other, they just never interacted for some to him unknown reason.

He looks at her ocean blue eyes and thinks to himself that they are so clear you could actually see yourself in them, like in a reflection. They seemed so tender and sad that he just got this sudden need to protect her which was so different and strange to him because that was not usually the feeling he would get around the other women.

Brett took his hand, cleaned a cut with a gauze and disinfected it. Her hands were so cold that he got chills.

»Here. Done. You are ready for new victories. And watch out next time with those pickles, though they are small they can be dangerous!« Kelly laughed.

»Thanks, Brett. I owe you one.« He touches her shoulder and squeezes it. Sylvie picks up the first aid kit and smiles. »Well, of course you do. I just saved your life.«

»Yes, you did. I think i should consider writing a will anytime soon since you never know when your last day is coming.«

They both look at each other and burst into laugh. »That's actually a really good idea. You should totally do it.«

Brett walks to the table picks up the crossword, gently smiles and leaves. Leaves Severide with his complicated and a little frightening thoughts about her. Great. Just great.

He finally decides that he's been MIA too long already and takes his sandwich outside to join his squad at the poker game.

»What took you so long? You went to China to get this sandwich?« asks Capp and laughs.

»What the hell happened to your hand?!« adds Otis. »You should stay away from the kitchen.«

Severide frowns. »I had an accident.« And thinks to himself _»If you can call it that way...«_

Walking through the hallway not realizing she is actually smiling, Brett thinks about that little encounter that just happened between her and Severide. It left a little weird feeling in her stomach.

There is more about Lieutenant Severide that he lets others to see. He definitely isn't that scary at all. Or is he?


	2. Friend in need

_»You quit giving somebody a_ _second chance, they stop having_ _one.«_

Sylvie Brett herself once said that and she was trying to stick to her own words dealing with Chilli but she just couldn't believe it. Chilli is not going to be a part of the Firehouse 51 anymore. It breaks her heart because even tough Chilli almost got her fired, she wants her to be happy and deals with her problems the right way. They were partners and friends, but most important – they were family. They all were family.

Brett was in the bathroom, trying to pull herself together. She felt devastated. A single tear started running down her cheek because she didn't want to lose her friend. But the way Chilli left, it was obvious nobody will get to her anymore.

 _»No, I won't give up on her. She needs a friend. She needs me.«_ Sylvie left the bathroom and stormed out through the kitchen where everyone else was.

Cruz saw her. »Oh, there you are! We are tr…«

But Brett didn't pay any attention to what he was trying to say and she was just walking faster and faster.

»Hey, Sylvie… Wait!« Dawson tried to stop her, but Brett was so upset she couldn't even turn around and talk to her or anybody else.

Severide noticed how red her usually ocean blue eyes looked. She was clearly crying.

Finally, some air. Sylvie was breathless as she almost ran through the door outside the firehouse wearing only a thin vest. Chicago was pretty cruel at winter but she didn't even notice how cold it actually was. Her thoughts were somewhere else.

Suddenly she stopped. She couldn't make her feet move anymore. She just stood there. Helpless. Gasping for air. Not really knowing her next step.

Severide saw her standing there by herself. He thought she looked so tiny and fragile, like a little kid who lost his parents at the mall. Weird comparison but that is the first thing that popped into his mind when he saw her.

His self-given mission in 51 was to help his colleagues when they were in trouble and he was doing it gladly with no hidden agenda whatsoever, but sometimes he couldn't avoid feeling like hypocrite when in fact he himself trusted no one.

He walked slowly to her and put his leather jacket on her shoulders, which was not very warm for weather below zero but better than a vest she was wearing. They just stood there in silence for so long that almost felt like an eternity.

»She'll be fine. Sometimes people need to figure out stuff on their own to recover completely. Chilli is going through some tough times, dealing with her sister's death and her drinking problem. It's very hard to lose a loved one - _believe me I've been there_ , and to think rational. She's now rejecting everyone and everything, not just you. I know you feel bad because of what she did to you but…«

Brett interrupted him. »Wait, I'm going to stop you right there. You think I feel bad because I almost lost my job because of her? You think I'm that selfish? Let me tell you something, Lieutenant… You know nothing about how I feel. From the moment she left 51 -« Single tear escapes her. Unintentionaly really.

»-I'm wishing that I was fired instead of her. She's the one who is alone now. Without job. Without friends. Without family. People don't need to feel sorry for me because I'm here. Unfortunately, but I'm still here. I miss her and she's alive and ok. She misses her sister knowing she'll never see her again. Yes, maybe you are right. I am that selfish.«

Sylvie looks at Kelly with tears in her eyes and makes two steps forward.

He is speechless. How can she now blame herself for missing a friend? What she just told him can only be words of a pure, innocent person. He never met anyone like her. Why can't he say anything in response? Why are words not coming out of his mouth?

He knew why. It was because no word can be enough.

»Why do bad things happen to good people, Lieutenant?« she asks without turning to look at him.

Now he makes two steps towards her. »I wish I knew the answer, Brett. I really do.«

She finally looks him in the eye. »You shouldn't feel guilty because you are alive. You should be grateful you're ok. Chilli is in pain right now and we should let her grieve. She needs to grieve because only then she can fully recover. When you're in pain it makes you grow as a person. It makes you stronger. When she's ready, she will talk to us. She'll seek help. Because that is only and entirely her decision. We can't help her if she doesn't want us to help her. It's not truth she has no one. She has friends here in 51. Or if I correct myself she has FAMILY that loves her very much, unconditionally.«

Sylvie is now unsuccessfully trying to wipe the tears off of her cheeks.

»I miss her.«

Her words felt so intense to him. The next thing he did was so unexpected that surprised even himself.

He hugged her and it felt so good. Only then she realized how cold was actually outside, because in his arms wrapped around her she could feel all the warmth of his body in contrast to the freezing city of Chicago. She felt safe.

»I know you do, Sylvie. I know you do.«

That is the first time he called her that way. She was always just Brett to him. It was something new to both of them. Something that none of them expected. But eventually he had to let go, because he was her Lieutenant and she was his Brett. Not HIS Brett. Just Brett.

When they both let go, she looked at him with half-smile.

»Thanks, Lieutenant. I appreciate it.«

He squeezes her shoulder like he always does when he tries not to be too intimate. »Really, it was nothing. Absolutely nothing. And if you need someone to talk to, I am here. I'm always here for you.«

She awkwardly nodes so he quickly corrects himself by saying »Or you know any colleague in need.«

He smiled and they started walking slowly towards the firehouse. »You know… I noticed something weird about you.«

»Oh, that's what every girl wants to hear.« she smiles mockingly.

»No, really. When you cry there is something about you that reminds me of a little kid that is lost at the mall and is unsuccessfully looking for his parents. You have these eyes, you know. I can't really explain myself but when you cry you look about 15 years younger. How old are you then? I would think about 5.«

They both laugh. »Nice save, Lieutenant. Women don't talk about their age, but thank you for thinking I am that young. It means a lot.«

Brett put two strands of her hair behind her ears, like she always does when she's embarrassed or uncomfortable. It's those little things that make her even more attractive in Kelly's opinion.


	3. Almost gone

Mouch, Hermann and Cruz went home so Severide was left siting alone at the Molly's after long and exhausting shift, drinking beer and thinking about that awkward encounter he had with Stella Kidd – the new firefighter.

Smiling to himself because it felt almost unreal that she showed up precisely at 51. What are the odds? He didn't want it to be weird between them because of their encounter in the past. It was embarrassing for him because he didn't want to work in that kind of environment. She seemed like a very capable firefighter and he liked her. Not in romantic way to be clear, it's just that she was very down to earth and funny.

Although he was known as womanizer, he never slept with any of his female colleagues. People have different opinions about him, but he was always a big professional, no matter what. At least for now.

Then she entered. Looking beautiful. Kelly noticed her the moment she opened that door. She was wearing subtle blue dress matching her light blue eyes. Her hair was in a braid but he saw a few strands falling out which made her look so unbelievably young and innocent in his humble opinion. Yeah, that's always his opinion.

It was Brett.

And few steps behind her was Jimmy. She clearly came with him. Since they are new partners in the ambo, they hang out much more than they used to.

They join Kelly at the table. Jimmy greets him. »How are you doing, Lieutenant?«

Brett just smiles and sits right across Severide while Jimmy sits next to her.

»Oh hey, guys. I'm ok. What's up with you?«

Sylvie looks at him and he notices something is bothering her.

»We had the toughest day. « She says exaustingly and puts her head between her arms, leaning on the table as Jimmy puts his hand on her back and gently caresses her.

»Want to talk about it?« asks Severide, clearly uncomfortable watching him doing it.

»I just can't understand why I keep interfering in these situations. It's not my place trying to help people when the call ends because I only make things worse. You know… I don't want to be like that and mess up every damn call.«

Kelly takes one sip of beer and right when he tries to say something, Jimmy speaks.

»We already had this conversation, Sylvie. You need to calm down, because everything will be fine eventually. Try not to think about it and relax. Leave it to the PD. It's their job, not yours. The kid will be fine. We should… «

His phone rings. Both Severide and Brett look at him.

»It's probably Danny. Since his girlfriend is in Europe for the next two months, he actually has to take care of himself and clearly he is no good at it. He probably doesn't know how to use a microwave or something so he needs me to pick up some food on my way home…«

Brett looks at his phone and then at him. »You should probably answer it before it stops ringing, Jimmy.«

He smiles and goes outside. Sylvie and Kelly are now left alone at almost empty bar. There were four or five more people to be exact. Severide felt almost relieved that they are alone since he wanted to hear what got her so upset.

Kelly takes sip or two of beer and starts again the previous conversation about Brett's problem, before they were interrupted by Jimmy's phone.

»So… What exactly is bothering you? You know you can tell me anything. And I believe you would trust me by now, since we are friends.« He says that in a kind of playfull way so she feels more comfortable confessing to him.

»Yes, I know I can trust you. I'm still very grateful for the conversation we had about the whole Chilli thing. Really. It meant a lot.«

Severide nods. »The thing is… I just can't do it anymore. Pretend like I don't care about every single person I drop at the hospital. I know I'm supposed to do things by the book because at the end of the day, that is my job. Come to the »crime scene«, attend the patient and drop him of at the Med. It sounds easier than it actually is. Sometimes I feel like I am overreacting but I can't do anything about it.«

Brett is watching at her own hands shaking since she is so nervous to talk to anyone about this. It's different with Jimmy because he was there and is pretty much new at this. Lieutenant Severide was something else. He was experienced firefighter and certainly looked more mature. It was important for Sylvie to see the whole thing from his point of view.

He just waited for her to start speaking on her own. He didn't want to rush her and risk her shuting down from him. Not now when he felt like he slowly gained her trust.

»There was this kid... From the beginning I had bad feeling about this whole situation since his father didn't tell the truth about kid's mom. He actually kidnapped his own son. We took care of the kid and his mom came to pick him up. I met her and she told me that she and her ex don't get along since he lied and took his own son. But then I realized. She was a drug addict and when I confronted her about it, she threatened to get me fired. And I am sure if Jimmy hadn't steped in front of me, she would've hit me or something. That's how bad it got. And what bugs me the most is that I wasn't even scared about her threat. I only felt bad for the kid. He had to see everything. Because in his eyes no matter how they are, they are his parents. He wants them to be there. You know? And I screwed it up. Just because I care too much. So it makes me think – Maybe I'm not meant to do this job in the first place.«

Severide is speechless. »But you are ok? She didn't touch you?«

He tries to give her the best advice possible but he can't avoid feeling biassed when it came to her well-being. She's already so deep under his skin that he himself can't believe it. He can't believe what she is doing to him. It's like a cliche. His mind telling him just to give her the best professional advice possible and leave.

»I'm fine. But I do need to tell you something. No, confess is a better word. But you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone at 51 about this. At least not until I am ready. I haven't told it to anyone yet, not even Jimmy.«

Kelly is trying to figure out what will she say from her facial expression but she seems so determined about it and he can see it is something very important.

»Ok, now you are scaring me. What is it?«

She just puts few strands of hair behind her ears and looks at him. »You promise? Kelly nods.

»I just can't do it anymore. This job and everything. It gets to me so much more than I want. And I know you might be thinking I am weak and can't deal with anything but it affects me in a way you can't even imagine. I went to medical school for a reason. I got this job for a reason. It's because I love it so much and I think I am capable of doing it, but when I signed up for it I didn't really know what I was signing up for. I thought I knew but I didn't. Don't get me wrong, I love the part where many lives are saved and it makes me so happy that we can help people. I just…«

She pauses for a moment. »I just can't anymore. Because of my stupid emotions people get hurt, just like this kid. I'm professional at my job but what happens after, it's entirely different story. I'm sure 51 will find another great paramedic and you will do so much better without me. Is that what I really want? No. But that is the best for everyone, because I have been struggling for a while now, which is not bad just for my patients and the firehouse, but also for myself. You must be thinking that I am a coward because I think this myself, but my mind is made up. Tomorrow I am telling it to Chief Boden and then the rest of them.«

Sylvie felt extremely sad because she has made great friendships in 51, but relieved at the same time because she finally told someone what troubled her for so long. She found a great friend in Kelly and she knew he is a good man. As simple as that.

On the other side of the table, Severide couldn't believe what he was hearing. He didn't want her to go. Not now, when she enchanted him completely.

But he also knew she was good paramedic. Very good paramedic, actually. His mind is now processing a million things at once. At one point he is even angry at her, because she is giving up so easily.

He looked at her with a thousand thoughts on his mind but all he could say at the moment was »Don't go.«

At this precise moment she looked up and Jimmy showed up. »Yes, it was Danny.« Jimmy said almost laughing, but he noticed weird tension between Brett and Severide. You could almost cut it with a knife.

»Is everything ok here?«

Sylvie saw in Kelly's eyes he was about to say something and she was already imagining the worst case scenario – Kelly revealing her secret in front of Jimmy and then telling everyone about it… so she quickly rushed with answer.

»Yes, of course. Why wouldn't it be?« she smiled awkwardly. »We should go, it's late and I'm very tired. Thanks for the talk, Lieutenant. See you.«

She almost pulled Jimmy with her. »Wait…what about? Oh, ok. See you.«

They were gone. Kelly didn't even get say goodbye to her.

 _To be continued…_


	4. Leaving is wrong

Kelly didn't know what to do. He didn't want her to leave. It was selfish, but he wanted her to know what she was doing to him. Every single day, every single minute, she was in his thoughts.

Sylvie Brett was so much more than anyone could possibly imagine. She was a damn good paramedic. She cared about everyone unconditionally. Severide loved the way she saw good in every bad situation when nobody else could, not even the strongest of them all in 51. Not even him.

But the most important - he loved the way she was making him feel. Wanting to be the better person. She brought the best in everyone and she wasn't even aware about it.

Kelly was still siting there, frozen, under the impression of what just happened a few minutes ago until he suddenly stood up. He had to stop her from leaving and he knew he has to go after her before it is too late.

She was probably all made up but this is the first time in this situation that Kelly is thinking like a professional and he knew he had to stop her before she tells chief Boden. Because after that, there is no return.

Sylvie and Jimmy were walking to his car. He was talking about some ideas he had for Hermann and Kidd to attract more customers to Molly's but Brett wasn't paying much attention to him as she was trapped in her own thoughts about one of the toughest decisions she had to make in her life.

»…so I said to him… Sylvie. Hey. Are you even listening to me?«

Jimmy snapped with his fingers right in front of her face and she jumped.

»Oh yeah, I was just thinking about… About some stuff I have to do at home. Sorry for not listening, it's just that.. I'm so tired.«

He looked at her and lifted his eyebrows »You expect me to believe you? Is it about that kid again? Because I am sure everything will be just fine…«

Brett interrupts him. »No really, it's not. Don't worry, I'll be fine.« She smirks to calm him down and he buys it. »Ok, but don't think about it too much because it will blow your brains.«

They arrive to Jimmy's car and he opens door to her, but she just stops in her tracks suddenly.

»You know what? I feel like walking home. Just to relax a bit and stretch my legs. Do you mind?«

Jimmy holds the door sceptically. »Are you sure? Because I can drive you, it's not a problem for me at all.«

»I'm sure. Drive safe, see you tomorrow.«

»Ok, whatever you want. And watch out, at this hour there are many bums walking around.« He laughs.

»Don't worry, I have pepper spray in my purse.«

Brett is now alone, just standing there and watching Jimmy's car becoming smaller in the distance. As she starts walking, suddenly there is a noise. Like someone is screaming her name. But she turns around and doesn't see a single soul.

She continues walking. Again. The noise. She turns around and sees a dark figure approaching her.

»Brett! Wait up!« She stops. She recognizes the voice but can't figure out to whom it belongs.

The figure is now clear. It was Severide. He is now right in front of her. The man is fast, Sylvie thinks to herself.

»Hey. What are you doing?«

Brett stares right into his eyes, waiting for an answer. He can't get his words out. She lifts her eyebrows as a sign he has to say something, so he finally speaks.

»I want to talk to you about that thing you said to me in there… I mean… What is wrong with you? You can't just leave!«

He's getting angry and she is surprised to see his reaction. She knew he didn't approve her decision, but she couldn't understand why in the world would he be this mad.

»I already explained to you everything, I just can't do it anymore. The job, I think… Please try to understand me.« She said that like she doesn't even believe in her own words.

Now she was mad that he talked to her like it's his decision.

»That is my business. My decision. And my mind is already made up so there is nothing you can do to make me change it. But thank you for your concern, Lieutenant.« she says sharply.

She didn't have the smallest clue how her words hurt Kelly and the way she addressed him was making him angrier every second. He was watching her giving up.

»Bye.«

She started walking from him, feeling odd about what just happened. That is the first time someone from 51 talked to her this way.

Suddenly she feels this incredibly strong hand wrapped up around her elbow as she sees him again beside her, trying to keep up with her fast steps.

As if this was a problem for him – not only was he athletic but also much bigger than her so it wasn't much trouble for him to catch her.

»Why do you keep doing this?« Severide almost whispers behind her ear. She stops.

»What? Why don't you just leave me alone? I made my desicion.« she looks at him firmly, trying to pull her arm back from his grip, but unsuccessfully. In return he looks at her with such tenderness, she just can't believe it. He was so angry just a minute ago and now he is looking at her like that?

»Leaving. Why do you keep leaving?« he asks her softly. She closes her eyes as if she is trying to escape from this conversation - that to her didn't make any sense.

»Listen... I thought that out of everyone in 51 you would be the only person to truly understand where I am coming from with this decision of mine so I came right to you. Apparently it's quite opposite and now I think I shouldn't have done it.«

He takes a deep breath and puts his hand on Sylvie's shoulder and squeezed it harder than she expected with such cold expression on his face, it was like he was done with it.

»You know what? Fine. You want to leave? Do it, if that's what will make you happy. But don't expect from me to agree with it. I won't tell anyone since they will find out soon enough from you anyway.«

He removes his hand from her shoulder and waits a couple of seconds as if thinking about the appropriate thing to say.

»I'll go now. I have to get up early in the morning for the shift. You probably won't be there yet so… Have a nice life.«

He turns away from her and just starts walking. Leaves her standing there, speechless. But she wanted to say a proper goodbye, not like this. He had to knew that. This rude, impolite and thinks-he-is-so-smart lieutenant of hers.

»Lieutenant! Wait!« she almost screamed.

Severide turns around and waits for her to talk. Not very patiently - she thought.

She makes a few steps in his direction. »Why don't you say a real goodbye to me? I just wanted to tell you that although you don't agree with my decision, I'm glad that you at least understand it.«

As she was saying these words, Severide was boiling. He couldn't deal with her stubbornness anymore.

»Actually you aren't aware of anything that's happening, are you?«

He slowly starts walking again but backwards this time, still facing her. »It's not only that I don't understand why do you want to leave – I think It's the stupidest mistake you'll ever make in your life. So don't expect me to say goodbye to you, because I'm not friends with cowards. 'Cause this is cowardly, isn't it, Sylvie Brett?«

His figure was becoming smaller and smaller until it was completely gone.

Ouch, that was harsh. She didn't expect many things Lieutenant Severide has said this evening. But this? Not at all. He is slowly getting on her nerves with his attitude.

She walked home alone, with so many thoughts on her mind…


	5. Leaving is love

It was early in the morning. Sylvie couldn't sleep last night because she had so much going on in her head that was just too difficult to handle. It is the day she tells chief Boden and everyone in 51 that she's leaving. Maybe it was a coward move but it had to be done, she thought.

One particular person that she didn't want to think about right now and spoil this morning to herself even more than it already was, made that perfectly clear yesterday and she wasn't very happy about the way he approached her. It was kind of pretentious in her opinion. Damn him.

Sylvie dressed herself and as she was finishing her coffee she was looking around her apartment that she called her »place« for three years. It was small but it was home. And comfortable.

Gabby Dawson was her roommate at one point but then she moved to Casey's and Brett was alone again. Sometimes she felt alone but this changed when she came to work every day. There were people that genuinely cared about each other. She loved when they would just be goofing around and having a laugh with firehouse family. She'll miss this the most.

There was some time left before heading to 51 so she decided to call her dad because he would always have words of encouragement for her, regardless of the situation she was dealing with at the moment.

The thing is that she was very close to her parents even tough they weren't her biological mother and father.

She remembered how simple everything was back in Indiana. Her family didn't have much, but they had enough. She found joy in the simplest things, like her mom baking pies and smelling like cinnamon.

When she was just a little girl, her dad would be pushing her on the swing as she was yelling: »Higher, higher so I can hug the birds!« Her dad and she shared a special bond. He was her best friend and they would do everything together.

Sylvie got to medical school because of him working extra hours. As much as she loved it, she didn't want him to sacrifice for her dreams. But he did it anyway because that is just how he was with the people he loved.

She got to go to medical school, worked in some smaller stations in Indiana and then came Chicago. It was such a big opportunity for a small-town girl like her and she really wanted to take it. But then something happened and it really crushed her.

Her dad became sick, with cancer. Brett wanted to stay at home so she could nurse him but he didn't want her to. It was difficult time for both her and her family but she didn't waste her time on thinking »Why me?« or feeling sorry for herself. Instead, she was doing everything in her power to be there for him.

»Listen to me. You are going to pursue your dreams and take this job, Sylvie. I don't want to hear another word about you staying here and nursing me because I'm going to be just fine. I have your mom and there are pretty good docs out here too. So don't you worry kiddo and remember - _everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end_.« these words of his made such a big impact on her.

Since then her dad's condition was changing from time to time but he was so strong that no one had even noticed that he was sick. At one point it was almost cured and he was feeling good, but it didn't last long.

They would talk over the phone every Sunday for many hours and he always sounded so optimistic. It was her mom that has to fill her in about his true condition because he never wants to talk about it. He calls it the waste of time since he talks to his little girl so rarely as it is.

It was ringing for a very long time. Finally, there was an answer.

»Hello. Sylvie, is that you, sweetheart?« it was her mom's voice on the other side.

»Hi, mom. How are you? I'm just calling because I... Wait... why are you answering dad's phone?« silence.

»Mom, are you there? Is everything ok? Is dad ok?!« silence. Sobbing. »Yes. No. Well... I didn't want you to worry. He's ok now. It's just...«

Sylvie's hands start shaking. »He had some troubles yesterday and doctor was here. I didn't want to call you because I knew you would come immediately but he doesn't want you to.«

Single tear starts running down Sylvie's cheek. »Mom, but you had to call me! I need to know how he's doing. You know what? I'll come home as soon as possible.« sigh.

»I told you already, it's not necessary. He just needs to rest and we'll probably hire a nurse to come home just to be safe if anything unexpected happens. But it won't... so don't you worry and go to work because you must be late.«

Brett completely forgot about the plan she had this morning. She was about to QUIT this job her mom just mentioned.

»But mom, we have to put him in the nursing home. He needs constant care and I don't think a nurse at home is enough. Tests must be made and he needs to receive a proper treatment. Call dr. Michaels immediately and tell him to do everything we talked about. He'll know.«

»Honey, you know that these nursing homes are very expensive. We can't afford it. And also how stubborn he is... I barely made him to accept one nurse.«

Sylvie's nightmare keeps getting worse and worse. She doesn't want to lose the person that meant a whole life to her. Not so young. Because he was still young. He IS young. So she made a split decision.

»I don't care what he says. Do what I told you, mom. I'll make payment transaction to that nursing home in Marion we talked about and dr. Michaels will deal with all the paperwork. Actually I'll call him now to ask him about dad's current condition, give him instructions and when he gets home make sure dad's stuff is packed. Also, I'll be there tomorrow early in the morning. Don't worry, I got this. Love you.«

»But... wait!« It was too late, Sylvie already hung up. Before she left for work she called dr. Michaels and booked a flight.

When she arrived to 51 she went directly to Boden's office, told him about her situation and left. Otis, Capp and Cruz were arguing about something so they didn't even notice her. Everyone else probably just assumed that she wasn't going to be on this shift so they greeted her like they always do.

She never told them about her decision. Only one person looked at her and knew what was going on. Well, at least partially.

It was a very cold look. Brett wanted to explain him everything so he could understand why she was acting like this but there was no time.

Severide saw her leaving. Again.


	6. Welcome back

Knock. Knock. »Come in!« said Severide not really looking to see who may be at the door. »Hi. Do you have a minute? We need to talk.« It was Casey.

»Sure, what's up?« answered Kelly but still keeping his gaze at the paperwork he had to deal with after every shift. »Are you ok? You've been kinda off lately. You don't talk to anyone if not necessary, you're always all by yourself... It seems to me that something is really bothering you or am I wrong?« asked Matt.

»Why would you ask me that? I'm perfectly fine... I have a lot of stuff going on and that's it. Nothing special.«

Severide looked up at his friend. He wanted to tell him everything about Sylvie but he realised that there is actually nothing to tell because at the end of the day she was nothing to him. She was gone and she'll probably never come back.

»If you say so. But you do know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Right?« Casey points at himself and leaves Kelly's office.

He just thought that it would be nice and a sign of respect from Brett to say a proper goodbye. At least to Gabby because they were very close if not best friends. And Stella. Hell, everyone at 51. They deserved an explanation because everyone was worried.

Every day for the past week Gabby would go to chief Boden to ask about Brett – what did she say, is she even coming back, ... Boden couldn't tell her nothing more except that she had to leave to her home town to resolve some personal matters. He didn't know when she's coming back or if she's coming back at all. For now, she was replaced as PIC with Chout who was slowly getting on the Gabby's last nerve. Well, Kelly found that kind of funny.

It was an exhausting shift. There was a big fire at some warehouse and they've spent 4 hours putting it off. Squad, truck, ambo they all went to get some rest after that. He didn't complain at all but situations like this – when as a firefighter you don't know if you'll even come back home in one piece, made Kelly think. Home. Does he even have one? Sure, he has 51 and it would be ungrateful of him to not admit it but there was something missing in his life. Wrapped in his own thoughts he suddenly heard a scream coming from the outside. It was Gabby. Severide followed her voice to see why in the world was she yelling like that and who was she talking to. As he opened the door everything went blank. What the...?

»Are you crazy?! You don't write, you don't return my calls... I've been worried sick for the last few weeks and you know what? That's no way to treat your friend, you idiot. I had been going to chief's office every day and he couldn't say a thing. Where have you been?« Gabby's eyes started to tear up.

Sylvie. She was back. Why? How? His heart is pounding faster every second and when she turns her gaze from Gabby to look at him it almost stops. Severide was so mad at her it made his fists clenched but at the same time the grass was greener, the sky was bluer but not nearly as blue as her eyes. Damn, those blue eyes are doing everything to him. She quickly turns to face Gabby again as if she can hear his thoughts. Kelly could swear she was blushing.

»I'm so sorry, I should have called but...there was just...« sigh. »Stop. It's fine, you'll explain when you're ready. But don't think you are off the hook just like that. No, no. You have to make it up to me. To your partner in crime, still remember me?« Gabby hugs her, takes her under arm and as they turn she almost jumps in surprise. »Severide, were you standing there the whole time?«

»No...I...I was just...I heard you screaming so I came to see what is going on out here. I mean, everyone else is sleeping or watching TV. Mouch is watching TV to be precise and Cruz was just at...« Gabby stops him and points at Sylvie. »Blah blah...since when do you talk so much, it's weird. Look who's back. Aren't you gonna say hi?«.

As much as he wanted to, his ego and his anger won. »No.« Kelly's answer was short but painful, Sylvie thought. He doesn't understand it yet but he'll be sorry one day. »What's up with him? Is there something going on between you two?« Dawson looks at her awkwardly.

»Not that I know of.«


	7. If only you knew

They have been avoiding each other for the last two weeks. They haven't spoken one single word. Literally. Why? He has no idea. But one thing he knows – it can't last any longer because the other members of 51 are slowly starting to notice that something fishy is going on.

Sylvie wasn't the kind of girl to hold grudges against people but she couldn't possibly understand Severide's behavior towards her and for the life of hers she's been thinking about it for more than appropriate.

Why would that bother her so much? In her own (modest) opinion she hasn't done anything wrong. With one tiny little exception... She cared for one particular tall blue-eyed Lieutenant that was not only off the charts for being her co-worker but also (and that is just to mention it) he hated her guts right now. Except he didn't.

Gabby can be really persistent when she wants too. And Kelly found out about it on numerous occasions. And this right now, being one of them. He just wanted to finish his coffee in peace, _you see..._

»Hey. What's up?« she asked while sitting on one of the chairs beside him, clearly missing his annoyed expression that indicated he was not in the mood for talking.

»Nothing, just drinking some coffee and waiting for one damn call. It drives me crazy doing nothing. I mean I even finished all the paperwork. I have to...«

Gabby cut him off. »...blow off some steam, as you clearly have too much energy. Or, I don't know, maybe talk to a certain person?«

»Look, I'm not in the mood right now so if you don't mind explaining me what the hell are you talking about?«

»Oh you are smart, Kelly. You'll figure it out on your own.« she said and before she stood up and left she suddenly turned around.

»Just so you know... she is really pissed at you for some reason and no, she didn't want to talk to me about it. Although...« Gabby put on a blank expression as if she was thinking really hard about something.

»I think there is something bigger that troubles her. She is not herself lately and she seems so distant and almost sad... So go and whatever you did, fix it now, because I can't watch her torture herself anymore.« with that Gabby left.

And with that, Kelly knew what was she talking about. I mean, _who_ was she talking about. Could it be that he was the one causing this torture Sylvie was dealing with for the last few weeks? But why? In his own (modest) opinion he hasn't done anything wrong. With one tiny little exception... He cared for one particular blonde paramedic, probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. But he was convinced that she hated his guts right now. Except she didn't.

He needs to talk to her. Now. Kelly may be one egotistical bastard and believe me, he hates himself for it too, but he doesn't want to be the reason for her pain. Hell, he doesn't want her to be in pain at all. It's not like he will tell her about his feelings towards her... He just wants to know why she is so upset. Only as a friend.

 _Yeah, keep telling yourself that. It still doesn't make it the truth, Kelly. Great, now he's talking to himself._

She was in the locker room, sitting on one of the benches and looking at something in her hands. From the distance where he was standing, it wasn't really clear but it looked like a photo. If it wasn't for his own beating heart that brought him back to reality he would've stayed there locked in place lurking at her like some kind of creep.

But you see, he wasn't usually like that. He was a tough guy with heart of a lion after all.

He finally approached and by her lack of movement he assumed she didn't even hear him enter. It was when he sat beside her, she jumped and quickly put the photo in her pocket, clearly scared. He instinctively put his hand on her shoulder just to steady her.

She turned her head away for a moment but it didn't escape to Severide that her eyes appeared to be teary. He would've asked her about it but it was not the right time. As much as he wanted to, he knew better.

After she composed herself a bit she started talking. And at that moment Kelly didn't even have a clue that later on he will regret it like nothing else in his life.

»What are you doing here? Creeping up like that...« Sylvie looked at him with wide eyes as she slid away from him on the bench a little bit.

Even though it bothered him (oh, it so bothered him), he decided to ignore it. For the sake of both of them.

»First of all – Hello to you too. Second, I just wanted to see, uhm, how you're doing. Gabby said you were kind of... you know.« Sylvie frowned and it seemed like she couldn't believe what he was saying.

Now she was standing up and crossing her arms. Her eyes, that only a few seconds ago were filled with sadness are now replaced with anger.

»Oh, I see... You want to know how I'm doing? You certainly have the nerve to come here and ask me that after ignoring me like a plague for the past two weeks. But you know what? I don't even blame you because it's my fault. I did it to myself when I decided to trust you with my problem. I don't know what I was thinking to bring you into my mess that you know so little about, yet you were so quick to judge me about it. I thought we could be friends, you know? I actually looked up to you. Crazy, huh? I mean I love Matt and he is a great leader, but I always thought that you were the strongest and the bravest... I watched you in awe when you were working and saving people. I guess at the beginning that was the reason I spoke to you as little as possible but also what would later make me come to you asking for advice. Big mistake, don't you think?«

Kelly was just watching her in shock. Not because of her words (because he knew they were true) but because he saw a very different side of her that made him lo... like, _like_ her even more. She wasn't afraid of him one bit and she wasn't afraid of calling him out on the things he did wrong, even though he was _technically_ her superior. Let's not forget that.

He wanted to say so many things but he just stuttered. »You... You don't understand. I thought you were leaving for the wrong reasons. When you went on about the job and...«

After longer pause Severide now looked at her with determination. »Is there something else going on that you think I should know about? Is something wrong?«

Sylvie's expression changed again but it was from angry to blank (almost sad, he thought) and he wished it didn't, because he would rather have her mad at him, even screaming, if it would make her feel better, than like this.

»I just needed someone to understand me... I get that you thought it was cowardly move to leave like that, but what I don't get is what made you so angry at me that you decided to ignore me like I'm just a puff of air around the fire station. I admit it, that hurt me because you were my role model but don't worry I don't think I'll make that mistake again. You should know that I asked myself if I said or did something to offend you...«

 _You didn't, Sylvie. You are the kindest, strongest and the most fearless woman I know. You did absolutely nothing wrong. It was me. I am an idiot for making you feel like you can't trust me. I am an idiot because I let my ego judge your situation. If it makes you feel any better I did it because I didn't want you to leave, I did it because I care... too much actually._

Yeah, that sounds about right. If it only wasn't him talking to himself again, in reality, he just apologized in the most formal way possible, as if it meant nothing. When in fact it meant everything.

»I'm sorry, Brett. I have no excuse for my behavior. I just hope that one day we can be friends and you can trust me with whatever is bothering you. Are we good?«

»Yes, we are good but let's just try to find a way to work together and try to address each other as little as possible because that's what we are the best at, right Lieutenant?« were Sylvie's last words just as they heard from the speaker »Ambulance 61, accident at...«

Before she left Severide with his thoughts, Sylvie put the photo from her pocket back into the locker.

 _The photo._ Severide was wondering what it was with this photo that made her so upset. He has to find out. No, he _needs_ to find out.


	8. Never alone

»Who is the hero that dared to stole my bowl with fruitloops from the kitchen?!« Everyone looked straight towards Cruz, who was now boiling with anger.

»What are you talking about man? I haven't seen any bowl in the kitchen or fruitloops for that matter.« responded Otis, silently chuckling and hiding behind his newspaper. Because he was the one. Yap, it was too easy sometimes, messing with Joe.

»Excatly, smartass. Because someone stole it. Aren't you listening?« Cruz punctuated every word because he didn't find it funny at all.

Hermann, Severide and Mouch were just siting there amused by their collegues interaction. They knew Otis did it the whole time, because they saw him but they weren't planning on getting involved, their banter was too funny.

»I think Brett did it.« Otis blurted out fast. He just saw her standing there in the hall so why not use her name to save himself. And also, Brett sometimes actually stole their food so it was kind of believable that she would do it again this time with Joe.

»Brett? But why would she... Gabby made pasta like an hour ago and asked her if she wanted some too but she wasn't feeling well so she said...«

In this precise moment Sylvie came frome the hall, minding her own business. Everyone looked at her smiling, knowing what is coming next. Except for Severide. He was just looking at her.

»Oh just the person I needed.« Cruz grabed her gently by her upper arm and she almost jumped. Something was defenitely wrong, Kelly thought while looking at her posture.

»I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to know if you care to explain why in the world would you stole my bowl from the kitchen?«

»Bowl? What are you t...Look, I don't have time for this right now. I have to go.« Cruz still held her by her arm and she wasn't having it.

»I just want to know if you did it or not and after you answer me, you can go.«

And that was it. Breaking point. No one saw it coming, especially not from her.

She pulled away from Joe's grip rather forcefully and she turned to everyone. It was like something possesed her and the caring and sweet woman they once knew disappeared in a mili second as she raised her voice. Her eyes were wide open now and fists clenched.

»What the hell is wrong with you people?! I'm sick of this. Can't you just leave me alone for one single minute? Stop bothering me!«

By the time they all realised what just happened, Sylvie had already left. Otis, Cruz, Hermann and Mouch were stunned. No, stunned is an understatement. They were shocked. Severide stood up but he couldn't let a word out of his mouth. If this keeps happenig with her, he swears...

»Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Squad 3, 2 vechile accident at...« Dispacher interrupted everyones thoughts about their shockingly pissed co-worker that was up until now known as the kindest wouldn't-hurt-a-fly sweethart of the 51 firehouse.

But they were professionals and damn good ones when it came to saving people so they quickly brushed off their thoughts and got to the trucks to do excatly what they did best.

While getting on the truck to take a seat as Lieutenant of his squad, Kelly took one last worrying look towards ambo. Sylvie was the one driving. He couldn't explain it why but her face appeared so dark as if all the bad of this world dropped down on her shoulders to carry. He was determined to have a serious conversation with her and offer her his help after they come back from their call because this behavior and attitude she was having lately did not only shock her collegues but also started to take a stroll on her work, which by the way she was supposed to quit not that long ago.

He was now strongly convinced that something really bad must have happened to her. But what were his intentions? Why did he want to help her? It wasn't because of his complicated feelings towards her because for all he knew they could easily be mistaken for his need of female company, or perhaps loneliness...

Maybe he wanted to be the one to save her. Maybe it would make him feel better. Maybe it was only to redeem himself.

Or maybe it was because she had the EXACT same look he had when... he had lost someone that was important to him.

Talk about jumping to conclusions before actually talking to a person. For now he only hoped that her current state and whatever the hell was bothering her, wouldn't jeopardize her work. One can have hopes. Right?

* * *

 _At the scene of an accident..._

There were two cars involved in the crash. It looked pretty bad as one of them was turned upside down. Chief Boden felt partially relieved because at least he saw driver from the other car walking on his own two feet and without serious injuries, apart from few minor scratches and cuts.

»Casey, clear the area now! And take Kidd with you.« shouted Boden worriedly. »Gabby, Brett take a look at the driver before we get the family out of the car. But be prepared, ok?«

»Noted, Chief.« said two paramedics in unison. They did what they were asked. Meanwhile Severide gathered his squad and started working on the mentioned family's car.

There were three passengers. Man, who was driving, woman and a boy in the backseat, not older than 10. Kelly assumed they were family while looking through one of the front windows. They looked fine. Shocked, but fine. Until the woman started yelling from the top of her lungs.

»Help! My son, something's wrong. Please help! ...Come on sweetie open your eyes.«

As soon as Kelly heard her, he ran to the boy's side and instructed his squad to fasten the process of getting him out.

»Capp, bring saw and get rid of that door now, goddamit!«

Boy was unconsious, he could see that much and he was trying to check in on him every second while calming his mother at the same time.

»Chief, we have an unconsious boy back here!« yelled Severide to the other side of the area.

Boden was able to come quickly after his intel. He was now standing at the right side of the car to have a better look at the boy. »Dammit it looks like his head is injured, there's blood everywhere. We have to get him out of here as fast as possible! You hear me? Where is the saw?!«

»I sent Capp to get it. I don't know what's taking so long...«

It wasn't in Kelly's nature to panic and jump to conclusions regarding situations like this and he didn't. He really didn't. But from his past experiences and what he was seeing right in front of him in that moment, he thought it was going to be one of _those_ calls...

And it broke his heart.

Capp was already working on the door to get the kid out while Mouch helped Chief Boden to calm down his parents and move them away from the completely crashed vechile. They managed to get them out in the meantime.

The mother was yelling at them to save her little boy and it was difficult to watch her being so helpless and inconsolable. Severide knew the feeling and he would've given everything to alleviate the pain.

Finally Capp managed to remove the door that was the only obstacle left from rescuing the little boy. Kelly let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding for 3 whole minutes. It felt like an eternity. But this was far from over and every firefighter on the scene knew it.

»Brett, Dawson! Hurry, we have a possible head injury!« Kelly called out.

They quickly arrived to his side with spine board and stifneck collar as well as the other gear. They carefully put the boy on the board and started with their usual EMT procedure of checking the vital signs.

Squad finished their work of getting everyone out of the vechile so they stayed with Gabby and Sylvie - just in case. Truck was dealing with securing the area anyway.

Gabby spoke first. »There is a rise in the systolic blood pressure, heart rate is slowing down. It looks like epidural bleeding. His brain is swollen from the pressure. If we don't hurry-«

At that exact moment the boy gained concinousnes and started breathing heavily. »Mom. W-where is...«

»Hey, you're mom is safe. As the matter of fact she's just waiting for you. What's your name sweetie?« Sylvie adressed him so tenderly.

»Ch-Charlie.« was his reponse.

»Can you tell me where does it hurt?«

»My head. I feel dizzy. I... I just want my mom. You have to tell her I'm sorry if I don't make it-« he was now slowly slipping away from them. »-lady, can you p-please tell her that I love her and I'm not affraid-«

»No. No. You'll have to tell her that yourself kiddo, you hear me? Because we're going to get you out of here and you'll feel better in no time.«

Sylvie was determined to keep this kid alive and well. And there was nothing that could stop her from keeping her promise. She was an emotional person by nature, yes. When it came to her work as a paramedic tough, she was always able to keep these emotions under control.

Until now. Now her work started mirroring her personal life. It was breaking apart. But she knew that one day it will catch up with her. It had to. One day she'll come to work and it will break her. And the moment she realized that, the tears started filling her eyes. She simply knew.

»Shit! I can't feel the pulse. I guess there are some more injuries involved because he's now getting into cardiac arrest!« Gabby's voice was ringing in her ears and it felt like she was miles away and not right there with her. »Sylvie, get the defibrillator!«

This was enough to get her attention back. Sylvie froze for a moment but than quickly gained her composure, altough not for long.

The two paramedics started with the reviving.

Unfortunately, the kid was gone. But as she herself predicted, Sylvie wasn't able to let him go. Not now that he hasn't even started living properly. He shouldn't go before his parents. That's the most cruel thing to be a witness to.

»No, no, no. No! Wait! We have to keep trying, Gabby come on. Put the electrodes back on now!« Gabby only looked at her with wide eyes, stretching her arm to put it on Sylvie's shoulder but she stood up.

»No! Why are you looking at me like that?! Put it back and lets start again before it's too late!« tears were now pouring out of her eyes as she was literally screaming out of the top of her lungs.

Silence. She felt the eyes of her fellow collegues on her but nobody said anything. They were all confused with her persistance when they all knew boy's injuries were far worst than they initialy thought.

»Get her out of here now!« chief Boden's words were echoing in her ears. She felt dizzy. It was like the whole world stoped spinning but at the same time it was spinning so fast. Her hands started shaking and her legs wouldn't listen to her anymore.

The last thing she remembers are two strong arms holding her and caring her somewhere unknown.


	9. It's not enough

**AN:** I just want to explain why most of the chapters were filled with Kelly and Sylvie's dialogue and not with action like in the show. Well, that's the exact reason. Because I wanted to devote them more to the characters development. It's how I see them. More complicated and struggling.

If you have some interesting suggestions, you're more than welcome to leave them in reviews.

* * *

Little rays of morning sunshine carefully peeked trough the window curtains. They woke Sylvie up. She wasn't particularly upset about it. It's just that 5 minutes more would make a huge difference for her as she felt unusually tired.

Ah, to hell with it, she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep anyway.

So she stood up wobbling from coziness of her bed and walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth and you know, the usual stuff people do when they wake up. Except she didn't feel like it. The mere thought of doing it made her bones even heavier.

When she finally decided that yes, it is somewhat necessary for her further existence to take care at least for her personal hygiene the damn doorbell rang.

Sylvie literally had to force herself to reach the door knob and turn it around. She didn't even look through the peephole to see who was bothering her this early in the morning but she didn't even care at this point.

Whoever this rude intruder turned out to be, she decided to get rid of him as soon as possible.

It certainly took her by surprise when she finally saw the person on the other side. He was the last person she was expecting to see. Why was he here? He has never been at her place before. She wasn't even sure if he knew where she lived.

Of course, he knows. Obviously, he is standing right in front of her.

Only he would get the idea and the actual courage to bother people at this early hour. Neanderthal. Or if she uses more polite version of his name, Lieutenant Kelly Severide.

It wasn't until he loudly cleared his throat she realized they were standing there in silence staring at each other for god knows how many seconds or minutes even.

Severide was taking in her appearance. Wearing only a very large white t-shirt that was barely long enough to reach the middle of her thighs and messy bun on her head almost made him forget the reason he came to her apartment in the first place. He was only a man. She tried to ignore his »thorough examination«

Sylvie broke the ice. »What are you doing here?« with emphasis on _you_.

»Well hello to you too.« Kelly replied sarcastically. »Why do you always have to be so hostile with me lately?«

»I think you already know the answer to that question.« She crossed her arms in front of her chest, impatiently waiting for him to tell her what he needs and walks out of the door the same way he entered. Suddenly.

He was still standing in the hall in front of her apartment, waiting patiently for her to let him in. He wasn't in a hurry or anything. He could do this all day and Sylvie knew that. So she thought she may as well let him in if it means she'll get rid of him and his sarcastic remarks faster.

She moved to the side without saying anything, which he took as a sign to come in.

»So... How are you feeling?«

»I'm sure you didn't come all the way to my apartment, where you by the way have never been before, to ask me that.« Severide raised his eyebrows to remind her once again that he can do this all day.

»I'm fine.«

He nodded slowly. »Right. What happened yesterday... I just want you to know if you ever want to talk about it I'm here.«

From the very little information Sylvie knew about Severide and even that mostly gotten from Gabby and other members of 51, she gathered that he was very reserved when talking about his feelings or any intimate details about himself for that matter. He would never voluntarily socialize with other people if not strictly necessary. Except his firehouse people of course but that was also on a very limited basis due to his lack of social skills. He never really and truly trusted anyone.

Sylvie wondered if their rather heated last couple of discussions (she still refuses to call them arguments, because they are not nearly close enough to actually call them that way, duh) happened because of his inability to express himself properly.

»I don't want to talk about it. And even if I did, I would most definitely not come to you.«

What a stubborn woman, Kelly thought but her feistiness didn't discourage him to continue with his further interrogation, so he just smirked.

»Ouch, that hurts even though I kind of expected it. Ok, I get that and frankly I wouldn't want to talk to myself either if I was in your place. BUT... you don't have to talk to me. I'll talk and you just listen.«

Sylvie widened her eyes like he grew an additional head. He has some nerves, this man. Who does he think he is basically ordering her what to do? She was about to give him a piece of her mind when he started with his »rendition«.

»I know we disagree a lot lately and mostly because it's my fault. Fine, because it's _entirely_ my fault. It's just... I see you struggling and I have this feeling in my gut that something bad had happened to you or it's maybe still happening. I don't know what or why but I get that you are hiding it from everyone who cares about you. You know why I see it? Because I went trough some stuff myself and I did exactly what you are doing now.«

Kelly took a step closer. To her it kind of looked like he was trying to intimidate her with his appearance but this wasn't the case. At least not to him. He wanted to see some kind of reaction in her eyes. Because eyes never lie.

»People die every day, Sylvie. It's hard to see it, it's damn hard. Your reaction yesterday was completely understandable but I can't avoid thinking that something else instigated it. You've seen death before, you know you did because it's fucking part of our job. But somehow that kid got to you. Everything lately is getting to you. And you're in this denial that if you don't talk about it, it will disappear. Well, guess what? It won't. Because it doesn't work that way. You just have to learn to live with it. Embrace everything you have in your life and stop putting other people in front of you.«

Brett took a step back and let her arms fall to her side. She turned her gaze from him to somewhere behind his shoulder, unable to look him in the eye. Because she knew exactly what he'll find there and frankly she wasn't sure if she was ready yet to show that to him or anyone else.

»You don't understand. Not really. I...« Her voice was tense, irritated.

»Oh, but I do. I'm not blind, dammit, give me some credit. I'm actually pretty observant when it comes to people who are close to me.« she looked him back in the eye startled by his words but decided to ignore it because she knew this wasn't the point of his whole speech.

»Just... don't shut people down. Talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me because I know I'm not your favorite person right now... _although_ I do want to fix that. And you're probably asking yourself what's my hidden agenda behind my visit and everything-»

She nodded carefully. His voice softened a little bit.

»-I don't have one, honestly. I just want to be your friend. And even though I don't know exactly what you're going through, I understand it because I have my demons too and they keep me up all night.«

Kelly pinched the tip of his nose, thinking how in the world does he always get the gift of speech around this girl. Woman. Fuck.

Sylvie was genuinely surprised at his words. She was now wondering if she'd been a little too harsh on him. Yes, he was a bit rough on the edges but maybe he didn't completely deserve her raw treatment.

»So that's it... just remember what I told you. And thank you for listening, I'll let myself out.«

Just when he turned around on his heels, she spoke. She spoke and he faced her again. Her eyes in that moment were the saddest thing he had ever seen.

»My dad. He's really sick and I...I'm not sure I can let him go.« One tear slipped down her cheek.

And then he remembered. »The photo you were holding. In the locker room.«

Sylvie disappeared for a moment before coming back with mentioned photo. She handed it to him. It was a photo of young Sylvie, he assumed, with two blonde braids and standing on the swing. Behind her squeezing her into a bear hug, was a tall man with the brightest smile on his face. They were both smiling. They seemed so happy... almost as if evil hadn't exist around them.

»That's him.« She took the photo back and looked at it herself.

»How do I deal with this, huh? People say it's easier when you know. Well, it isn't for me. It means that I get to spend the last days with him, with this thought lingering in my head. Not fully enjoying our time together because it's always there, creeping up on me in my nightmares. Why it's not enough for me to know that he'll be better up there just like they're saying?«

Kelly run his hands trough his hair.

Sylvie looked so exhausted by now. It felt like the words she was saying were sucking the life out of her. She looked paler than when he entered. So he decided to offer her the words of comfort. And be there for her now that she was willing to reveal all her fears and struggles. He didn't want to risk this newly earned trust she had in him. He was sure in his intentions for the first time. He really wanted to be her friend and nothing else, because that's what she needed him to be.

»I understand. But they never leave, not really. I know it sounds like a cliché but as long as you feel his love he'll never be gone. Because it lives inside of you and you're the secret, Sylvie. As long as you accept it and embrace it, it never really dies. The love I mean. People deal with death differently and you remember Chilli, she uhm-« he trailed off remembering his old colleague.

»-but I'm confident you'll deal with it the best way you can because I know your kind, Brett. Selfless and kind, always caring about the others and not leaving anyone behind. I thought that you were a selfish coward for leaving then, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I was clueless and I know that now. It was actually completely opposite..«

She tilted her head and put her hands on her hips. »I'm trying to comprehend that he won't be there one day when I wake up. And that this day is closer than I let myself believe. I just don't know if I'm strong enough to accept it.«

»You are. You don't know it yet but one day you'll be so happy...« Kelly genuinely smiled at her. »Like in that photo.«

Now she couldn't stop the tears from falling. His kind words reminded her of the ones her dad would always say. And that's how Kelly won her over. He became her best friend. Simply because he was there when she didn't even ask for it. He was there even if she didn't want him to be.

And without knowing it Sylvie became his rock, because although he hadn't intended he let it slip. It was after long time that he had told someone how he felt during the darkest of his times.

And this is how a beautiful friendship was born.

»And Kelly... Thank you.«

»For what?«

»For bringing me _home_.«


	10. Companionship at its best

_Reviews make me write._

* * *

 _About three months later..._

»Oh Capp, again with the coloring book? What are you? Five?« Severide says amused as he approaches his fellow firefighters outside.

They were all enjoying mocking Capp because every time they saw him, he would get another hobby. And somehow they got weirder and weirder each time.

»Yeah, yeah keep making fun of me. But you all should get one because it's actually good for you. It has this therapeutic potential to make you more focused and it also reduces anxiety. So there you go... Instead of lowering myself on your level, I'm helping you, you bunch of bullies.«

Everyone bursts out laughing.

»Well I have to say, the man has a point but I was never good at staying inside the lines anyways so I'm not getting it.« Casey adds knowingly, at least trying to understand Capp's obsession because the poor guy looked so serious about it.

Even when Ambo 61 parks near them in the garage with Dawson and Brett hopping off of it, they are still holding themselves around the stomachs laughing about the comical situation.

»What's so funny?« Dawson is quick to ask.

»Nothing, we're just laughing because Capp has his own coloring book. And it's for kids.« says Otis unable to contain himself even when explaining it to the two paramedics who are not so keen on joining them in their shenanigans.

»For the hundredth time. It is not for kids.« Capp is already beyond annoyed.

»It literally says for age 5+. Right there on the front.«

»YES, you said it yourself. 5+. Which means 5 and older. I'm pretty sure I fall under this category, you moron.«

Dawson looks at Brett and they both roll their eyes in disbelief at how much more impossible their colleagues can get.

Gabby then walks to Casey to give him a quick peck on the lips before retreating inside as Sylvie yanks still incredibly amused Severide from his seat.

»Can I talk to you for a second?« she asks him, surprisingly excited.

»Yeah, sure.«

And while they slowly walk to the side for more privacy, Sylvie suddenly turns her head back to Capp.

»Don't worry, I have one at home too and there is nothing to be ashamed of. They are just jealous and because of that, my dearest friend, they'll burn in hell.« she smiles and winks at him. Capp clearly satisfied with the newly gained ally, just smiles back broadly with appreciation.

Kelly looks down at her with even more mischief in his eyes than before. »Hey! Don't encourage him! Next time we'll see him eating play doh...« and that's how he earns a big smack at the back of his head from his best friend.

»Ouch! What was that for? You know I'm not the only one who was making jokes at his expense, right?«

»Yeah, I know-« Sylvie responds. Now sign of mischief present in her eyes. Oh, how quickly have tables turned. »-the smacking was just for my own personal satisfaction.«

Kelly rolled his eyes running his hand at the back of his head, pain still present. Man, the girl has some heavy arm. »Anyway... What did you want to talk about?«

»So how was it?« asks Brett crossing her arms in front of her chest and wiggling vividly.

»How was what?«

»Don't act stupid, because you are not.« she fires back visibly annoyed. »Actually no, I take that back. You are, but that's a topic for another conversation. I mean what happened yesterday with the hot librarian lady? How did the date go? Did you take her to your place? Tell me everything!«

»Whoa, whoa slow down tiger. First of all thank you for your kind words, as always appreciate it. Second, it was fine and I didn't take her back to my place. Or hers for that matter. Well I did, I just dropped her off and nothing else-« explains Kelly while scratching his always present scruff.

»That's it? You have to give me more... Did she tell you why she doesn't want you to at least come in for a cup of tea or something?« disappointment now visible on Brett's face.

»She... She kinda has this curfew.« he mumbles and Sylvie looks at him like he's an idiot.

»What? I didn't hear you.«

»She has this curfew she follows.« replied Severide specifically punctuating each word, because he had to make sure Sylvie heard him right this time so he wouldn't have to repeat it, each time more embarrassing for him.

This was enough for her to start cracking up. »Oh my god... I... I can't breathe. SHE'S A NERD!« was all she managed to spit out between her laugh attacks.

»Stop speaking so loud. She's not a nerd... She's just consistent.«

»Yeah, with her neardness.«

A smirk finally appeared on Kelly's face. He had to give her this one. »And that's not even a word!« he added, trying so hard to stay serious.

»Well it is now.« Sylvie replied, composed at last. He just raised his eyebrows while looking around if someone might have heard their weird conversation.

»You just make sure she doesn't drag you to one of these conventions Otis talks about... And makes you wear silly costumes. You hate those.« she explains mockingly while patting him on the shoulder.

Pleased with herself, she retreats.

 _At Molly's..._

»I brought us beers because I thought we don't feel snob enough today for those fancy cocktails. Is that cool?« Gabby informed Sylvie and put the drinks on the table before them.

»Yeah It's fine.«

They sat in silence for a while and Gabby was staring at her as if she was eager to ask her something but didn't know how to approach the subject that seemed so delicate.

»What?« Sylvie asked her now completely aware of her intense staring, while bringing beer to her mouth.

»Nothing it's just... I wanted to ask how is your dad doing?«

This was in fact a very difficult subject to talk about, but Brett knew her friend is just worried and has nothing but good intentions when bringing it up. She was dealing with it day by day and that's exactly what it felt like.

Her father was a very strong man and after all those months of uncertainty, he was still holding up better than anyone expected and even doctors (that's right, plural) predicted wrong. Maybe it was selfish from her to be grateful for having him longer but that's how she felt. Also, because she started working overtime, he was able to get better treatment. Of course, he opposed but Sylvie Brett wouldn't take no for an answer.

»He's doing really good. I just don't want to get my hopes up and get them crushed all over again. And my mom... I'm worried about her too. We kinda made our peaces with it you know? What needs to happen will happen.« she tried her best to explain her situation to Gabby without getting her depressed too.

»As far as my medical knowledge goes I think he has 50/50 chances and you know it yourself that is a lot in his condition. But somehow I'm trying really hard to be realistic and just be there for him. We still talk over the phone every other day and you know I travel home on the weekends when I can. So that's it... dealing with it the best I know.«

Dawson nodded slowly. »That's good. If you need anything I'm here for you, you know we're all here for you.«

»Yes, I know that and I appreciate it very much. I wanted to apologize to you for some time now... because I didn't tell you what was going on and you were worried too. My head was all over the place and it's not an excuse I swear, it's just...«

Gabby cut her off and took her hand in hers. »I get it, don't worry. You really don't have to apologize. On the other hand, I'm glad that you at least weren't completely alone. I could see Kelly was by your side always.«

»That he was. And I couldn't be more grateful for him really... He was just there when I needed to talk and his persistence to make me trust him was unreal. He's my best friend.« Sylvie said with tear slowly forming in her eye.

»I can see that. Your relationship almost reminds me of...« Gabby drifted of in her thoughts.

»Of what?«

»Him and Shay. Well, it's totally different but he seems as happy as he was back then. But the reason why you two are so close is completely different, I suppose. Kelly and Shay were best friends because they were similar in so many aspects but you two... you two are so unlike it's a miracle you still haven't killed each other but at the same time it makes so much sense.«

»You think we're close because I resemble Shay so much?« Sylvie asked her friend carefully.

»No, no don't get me wrong. You two look a bit a like, not so much really, but by character not even a little. I'll just say that you're good for him.« Gabby stated with a little spark of insinuation that made Sylvie roll her eyes. She felt like she was doing it 24/7. Rolling her eyes. She couldn't help it because her colleagues would get the strangest ideas.

»Oh stop it you! It's not like that. There is nothing else beyond friendship between us and there'll never be. We'd be stupid and careless to ruin it. Even if we felt it, which we obviously don't, it's too late now that we've reached the point worth of preserving.« Brett educated her friend with too much enthusiasm.

»I didn't say anything. Besides, Matt and I were friends first before it grew into something more...« Gabby added knowingly which earned her a side smirk and a slight tilt of head from her colleague.

»Ok, I see your point. We weren't THAT close.«

Their rather interesting conversation was now interrupted by none other than the topic of it. Kelly Severide.

»Hey ladies. What are we taking about?«

Sylvie rolled her eyes. Again. For the fiftieth time today. »Global warming. Wanna join?«

Gabby snorted out loud. It's a shame she was just drinking out of her bottle right in that moment because she almost choked. She sent a death glare to Sylvie because this was all her fault.

Severide just smirked. »No, thank you. It's a little too advanced matter for me so I'll pass. What else you got?«

»Just because you arrived, from your date with _the nerd_ I suppose, we have to change our subject?« Sylvie fired back.

Some people would put the hand over the other persons mouth if they wanted to prevent them from further talking or I don't know, just act civilized and tell them to shut up. But not him. Not with her. He just stuck his finger up her nose. As disgusting and preposterous as it sounds.

And while doing that he simply replied. »Yes.«

Gabby, still in state of disbelief starts laughing at the scene in front of her. »You two are seriously the weirdest people in the world. And that world has Otis in it.«

Brett quickly removed his hand, sending a wave of pain through it in the process. »What did _I_ do? HE STUCK HIS FINGER IN _MY NOSE_!« She was offended.

»Well you said he's dating a nerd... I'm sure he wouldn't-«

She was about to reveal all about his secret gal pal when she stopped herself from doing so. No matter how obnoxious he was sometimes, she couldn't do that to him so she just changed the subject.

»Ok... But wait until you hear this. We went to the supermarket the other day you know, to buy groceries for dinner I was making when y'all came over. And we were about to go to cash register when I remembered that I needed some candy too. So we went to the candy aisle. Everything was ok and fine but then Kelly started arguing with me about how much candy I eat so he decided that it would be »educational« to drag an older lady into our discussion too. She was nearby and he approached her like _»Do you care to explain to this young lady how unhealthy and potentially dangerous can candy be for her health? She just doesn't want to listen to me._ «

I am beyond furious at this point and I seriously want to leave but she starts talking to me and explaining me that all my teeth are gonna fall out eventually and some other nutritional stuff. And you know what he does? HE JUST LEAVES ME THERE BY MYSELF WITH THIS LADY STILL TALKING. He wasn't waiting for me outside or anything. He went home. Home. And he was my ride! That's why I was late!« she pokes Kelly's chest wanting to erase the smug on his face.

Gabby is amused by their interaction. »Why didn't you just say to her that you had to go?«

»I couldn't... She seemed so enthusiastic and happy.«

Kelly places his arms on his hips trying to hide how proud he actually is of her for being what she is. »Look it's not fair you're still mad about that. It's not my fault you are too nice and polite for your own good.«

Sylvie tilts her head as if thinking about his point but then simply replies »I'm always mad at you. You make me mad all the time.«


	11. Necessary evil

She was sleeping in his office. Again.

Although he always acted like it bothered him, it was actually quite the opposite. Kelly understood she was beyond tired after such an exhausting shift and he liked seeing her all sprawled out and peaceful in his bed.

It sounds wrong, sure, but he didn't mean it like _that_.

He would always tell her that she has her own bed in their common room like everyone else and that she shouldn't be privileged. But Sylvie always fired back with good enough reasons to keep that habit of hers intact, like one reason being that he doesn't sleep there anyway because he almost never sleeps.

That his bed is bigger and more comfortable, that she can't sleep in common room because Cruz and Otis are always too loud, ... Ok, that's more reasons. But none of them were the real reason _he lets her do it._

He simply didn't or doesn't have the heart to tell her no.

This was happening too often. Kelly couldn't deny her anything at this point. Deep down he knew why that was and it scared the shit out of him. It scared him because he never felt this way. Sure he felt the attraction for her when they first met and she actually knew it too but given his reputation of having his fair share of women, they both joked about it. Because, it wasn't much different with her.

It wasn't back then but as they got to know each other and their friendship kept progressing to the point where it wasn't worth of ruining it, he realized it.

She had his heart.

But he didn't have hers so he won't do anything about it. Sylvie needed him as a friend, she always had. Kelly was more than aware that their friendship meant a great deal to her too and it wouldn't be fair to make her choose. Besides, he was convinced that any man would and should feel lucky to have her heart. It's an honor.

He also knew that he couldn't be friends with her anymore if he confessed and she doesn't deserve that. So he'll keep quiet about it and be the support in her life she so desperately needs.

Little did he know that she had the identical turmoil...

He approached her and gently pushed her shoulder in attempt to wake her up even tough he knew she was a heavy sleeper. She could even sleep in the middle of the war without waking up.

She stirred a little but nothing.

Kelly almost gave up on being all gentle and was planning on just splashing her with water but then he remembered.

Doughnut. He had a doughnut somewhere in his desk and he never got the time to actually eat it throughout the day so he completely forgot about it. Until now.

Brett loves her candy. No. She loves her _food_.

He returned to her side and knelt in front of her. With that he quietly mumbled _»Who's gonna wake up now?«_ before pushing said doughnut in front of her face.

»Babe, come on, wake up... I have a vanilla custard filled doughnut with extra chocolate, just the way you like it. If you don't wake up, I'm gonna have to throw it out. I mean it would be such a waste... Ok, I'm gonna throw-« suddenly he felt a small hand wrapped around his wrist.

»Don't you dare, Kelly Severide, or I'll rip your head off.« When he looked up at her she still had her eyes closed and was struggling with adjusting to the light.

»Look who is awake! Welcome to the real world, Princess. Where is your Pea?« he chuckled.

Usually Sylvie would be annoyed by this kind of comments but right now she just went with it. »So that's what's been poking me through the mattress while I was sleeping?« she ran her hands through her hair. »What's with the doughnut?«

Kelly raised his eyebrows. »Well I don't want it to go to waste so...« he took a bite. The horror on her face was as if someone had just killed her puppies.

»You... you asshole. How dare you?! You know it's my favorite kind!« standing on her knees, still on the bed, she pointed a finger at him. »You'll pay for this.«

He would laugh at her because the face she makes when she's angry is pure comedy but Brett is nothing but serious when she says he'll pay.

»But it's my doughnut. I bought it. With MY MONEY!«

She punched him in the shoulder. Then in stomach. And the assault would go even further if »Mouch The Saviour« (new nickname by Kelly) wouldn't have knocked on the door and said they have a call.

»Let's go, my people!« shouted Casey.

Firehouse 51 entered their respective trucks and ambulance heading to take yet another call today. They were all pretty tired by now but it wasn't the toughest day they ever had. Or so Kelly thought.

One of the local bars was set on fire and someone even called the police because there was a suspicion it was arson and not an accident.

There were people running out of the bar while coughing and firefighters running in while dragging their gear with them. Smoke was everywhere but it wasn't that bad at all. It _looked_ far worse than it actually was, to be honest.

The fire was almost put out and everyone was safe and sound. Other than damaged property and ruined business, there were no casualties. No one died (thank god), there weren't even serious injuries and Sylvie was so glad because of it.

Dawson was near their ambo treating a girl with minor burns on her arm and Sylvie was patiently waiting by a gurney for other potential patients.

That was when Hermann approached her, holding a man in his mid-thirties around his waist. His curly blond hair and piercing green eyes would not leave any woman indifferent. _Handsome_ , Sylvie thought. He looked pretty much alright but he was coughing, probably because he had trouble breathing. They helped him to sit on the gurney and there was nothing else necessary but for Brett to put an oxygen mask on his face, just to fill his lungs with fresh air.

The man was calm and collected, but Sylvie noticed he was checking her out. Better yet his eyes were roaming all over her body. He wasn't even trying to hide it because for one there was Hermann standing right there beside her, _probably completely unaware of the situation_ , but still. That didn't bother him at all. She felt a little uncomfortable but hey, she remained as professional as ever.

Such a shame that a man this attractive had the rudest attitude.

He spoke. »So honey, are you single?«

Sylvie widened her eyes in disbelief as she cleared her throat and Hermann just smirked mockingly at him.

»With all the respect, that's none of your business, _sir_.« she responded him maybe a little bit too harsh.

»Woah, woah we have a feisty one here. You can call me Adam, there is no need for _sir_. I am a little offended by your tone, though. But I'm gonna forgive you and because I'm such a generous person I'm going to offer you a deal. No, not a deal. A proposition.«

No. She was definitely not too harsh before. No matter what situation she's dealing with, Sylvie always questions her actions. She definitely has to stop doing that. _What?_ She has the right to stand up for herself especially with men of his kind and act impulsive. Gabby would be so proud of her.

Clearly trying to ignore him, she didn't respond so he continued.

»I tell you what. You give me your number and after you're done with work, we can grab a drink or two, then we can go to my place and whatever happens there it's cool, if you know what I mean. We're young, the world is our oyster.«

Hermann rolled his eyes. That was probably at the top of the worst pick-up lines he had ever heard. In his time men would romance women before suggesting any activity of such kind. Now? Now they jump right at it.

Their little interaction didn't escape to Kelly, who was leaning on one of the trucks in the close proximity with pretty unpleasant frown on his face. Not that he was eavesdropping, it's just that he finished his job and had nothing better to do at this point.

»Listen, _sir_ -« Sylvie deliberately used the term again to show her _admirer_ that nothing can crush her professionalism. »-I'm only here to help you. I'm sure you are used to picking up women everywhere but you sure as hell picked the wrong one today, because I have a boyfriend. And even if I didn't and you are the last man standing, I still wouldn't go out with you. You want to know why? Because you are rude. Now put the mask back on and lift your shirt up so I can check your breathing.«

He hopped of the gurney and stood in front of her completely ignoring Hermann who almost wet himself, he was laughing so hard. »That's my girl!«

Hermann managed to say exactly what Kelly was thinking. He finally decided to approach them just to have a better view of his girl kicking some random guy's butt. Metaphorically, of course.

Adam, although disappointed with Sylvie's answer wasn't taken aback by his sudden appearance. He looked up at Kelly and it didn't bother him that he stood about half a foot shorter than Kelly's six foot two inch frame. Well, it should have.

»Hey man,-« Adam gestured towards Severide. »-how can you even concentrate with such a piece of ass around and not wanting to hit it? Huh?«

Kelly took a threatening step toward him. »She's a paramedic who's helping you and you will treat her with respect, am I clear?«

Still, completely calm and unbothered with bright smile on his face, Adam turned back to Sylvie. »Is this your boyfriend? He looks like he's really mad. You must be something else in the sack if he gets this aggressive because of you.«

Sylvie watched Kelly's temper rise, eyes becoming darker with the unrestrained anger clear on his face. »Kelly...«

Adam's attention now on Severide. »No really... you don't have to get all pumped up. I'm just stating a fact because I'm not blind. She's very hot and every man should feel lucky to have a girl this beautiful... I mean with those legs wrapped around-«

It escalated so fast. Kelly's fist shot up out of nowhere and connected with his jaw.

»Shut your fucking mouth!« His voice was full of venom.

Hermann was so shocked at the scene in front of him that he completely forgot to try to calm the situation. What brought him back to reality was Sylvie's firm and decisive voice. She felt all eyes around on them.

»KELLY!«

She grabbed Severide's hand who was holding Adam by his shirt and made him let it go. A plain white t-shirt that was, by the way, soaked with the shorter man's blood dripping from his nose. Sylvie was sure it had been broken. Damn it.

But the man remained as animated as ever. He was literally smiling.

She was now standing between them and completely turned toward Kelly. He couldn't read her. It was the first time in their friendship timeline that he couldn't read her. I mean the woman was an open book. He could always tell if she was happy or sad or angry. But right now he just couldn't. Wonder why.

»Leave.«

»But...«

»Right now. I mean it.«

Hermann walked away with him.

Sylvie noticed with corner of her eye that chief Boden was approaching them. The man looked pissed. She was thinking quickly. If he finds out what really happened - that Kelly punched a guy because he made a move on her, he could get suspended. She didn't want that and she had her reasons why.

As if Adam (the guy with bleeding nose) was reading her mind, he made yet another indirect proposition. »How will you convince me not to tell your boss what happened here? Because I assume you don't want your friend to get in trouble, right?«

»I'll go out with you but you keep your damn mouth shot.« Sylvie responded through greeted teeth.

»I will take what I can get, my lady.«

With satisfied grin, he just turned around and left with still bleeding nose.


End file.
